The Enneagram
What IS this thing everyone’s talking about?
The Enneagram is a personality test that goes beyond behaviors and gets more into the nitty gritty of the ‘why’s’ behind our behavior. The motivations that drive us.
There are nine numbers, or primary personality types. Each number has a point of growth and a point of disintegration-meaning the number you look like when you are in stress.
I have to say, the Enneagram has been one of the single most influential things in my life. It has allowed me to see my stuff in an authentic way, but also gives a path of growth. So many of the personality tests give you your type and you are stuck there.
In 2005, a friend loaned me a book about the Enneagram and asked me to read it. I was a bit skeptical and, if I’m honest, pretty uninterested! It wasn’t until I got to the very last chapter, Enneagram 9, that any of the numbers spoke to me. It felt like a punch in the gut. As a matter of fact, I think I tossed the book across the room and vowed to never pick it up again. The reason? It was so spot on. Too spot on. I felt like someone had read my mail. This friend and others persisted and asked me to give it another go. I did and have been hooked ever since.
I have found the Enneagram to be an incredible tool in the therapy office. Yes, everyone is a complex mix of their story, nature, nurture, and everything in between. But, there is a nice shorthand that comes with knowing your number. And, I even change my language for each person if I know what their number is. For instance, if you are a Type 1, I know that you are probably really hard on yourself and need encouragement. Or, a Type 4, you respond well to someone understanding who you are.